10 Jun 2015
June 10, 2015

Who Should Write the Wedding Ceremony?

When we were doing our initial research for the creation of Asked to Officiate, we were under the assumption that the wedding ceremony was almost always written by the friend or family member who was being asked to perform the ceremony.   However, what we found was that in many cases, the couple was writing the ceremony and friend or family member was delivering it.

Now, it is not really our place to say who should write the wedding ceremony as every couple, and every situation, is different.  But we did want to point out a few things for each option that will help the process.   If the friend or family member who was asked is going to write the wedding ceremony, they can make their life easier, and the ceremony better, by involving the couple in the ceremony creation process.  This can be done by meeting with the couple early on to discuss the overall feel of the ceremony; providing the couple with multiple options for reading and other components so the couple can select pieces that fit them; and allowing the couple to read and edit the ceremony, minus any private pieces (e.g. vows), so the couple feels comfortable that the ceremony does fit them.

If the couple is writing the wedding ceremony, it does take some of the pressure off the friend or family member in regards to the whole process of being asked.   However, just because the person asked is not writing the ceremony, the couple still needs to involve them in the ceremony creation process since that friend or family member will have to read the words that were written for them, with proper emotion, on the couple’s wedding day.  This involvement can be accomplished by the couple meeting with the person they asked early in the process to discuss the feel they are going for and by sharing the ceremony with the person being asked early enough that if there are any issues with saying what is written, there is time to discuss and edit as necessary.  Being full-time officiants, we can definitely tell you that it is much tougher to deliver words that don’t fit who you are.

As you can see from the above, no matter who is writing the wedding ceremony, the process of creating the ceremony needs to start early and include both the couple and person who was asked.

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