20 May 2017
May 20, 2017

The 411 of Wedding Ceremony Vows

When sitting down with couples, one of the biggest topics on their minds are their wedding vows.  And the discussion usually is a combination of talking through the format of the vows, the feel or tone the vows should have, and their length.   This post contains some quick tips and hints to get you started but if you are looking for a bit more information, check out the series of blog posts we wrote that start here, or for detailed information on vows and a large number of of samples all in one place, purchase our Guide to Writing Wedding Vows (only $15) or our comprehensive, yet easy to use, complete wedding ceremony creation workbook here.

As for the feel of wedding ceremony vows just remember that no matter what format you use, vows are a combination of here is why I love you, why I have chosen you, and what I promise you.   Also, independent of the format, wedding vows should represent the relationship.  Most of the couples we work with are a good mixture of lovey and light-hearted, and thus their vows tend to be a combination of words that make the other, and the guests, tear up but also words that make them smile.

When it comes to the format of wedding vows, we focus on three main ways that vows can be done.

The first option is “repeat after me” in which the officiant reads a line and, depending whose turn it is, the bride or groom repeat the line.   Although this is an option, we don’t usually recommend it since doing vows as repeat after me ends up with less “emotion” than the other two options because the couple is focused on repeating the words correctly and not on the words themselves.

The second option is what we refer to as questions.  This is a great option for those that are shy or nervous about reading in front of a group of people or for those that always envisioned saying I Do at their wedding.  In this option, the officiant asks a question to, depending on whose turn it is, the bride or the groom and the person answering the question, answers, I Do or, I Will, I’ll Try, etc..  With our couples, we recommend 4-6 questions for the bride(s) and 4-6 questions for the groom(s) and we work with the couple to help them to write/choose the questions so that they are personal to couple.

The third option is for the couple to write their own vows and read them to each other.   This is the most personal of the options and this is the one that has the most emotion.   With this option, we recommend that the couple write their vows separately and that they don’t share them before the wedding day.  We also recommend that when writing vows, they be between 150 and 225 words, although there is really no length requirement.

No matter what format is used for vows, the couple should be involved in their creation since the vows are the most important and personal part of the ceremony.

Couple Reading Wedding Vows

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