08 Feb 2017
February 8, 2017

Read All About It – Shy Couple Wants Personal Wedding Ceremony

We have met with many brides and grooms where one, or both , tell us that they are shy and they hate being the center of attention yet, they want a wedding ceremony that is personal and meaningful.   Whether you are a professional Officiant or just a friend or family member doing this one ceremony, knowing the couple’s personalities is very important when preparing the wedding ceremony.  I can tell from lots of experience that the couple being shy and not wanting to be the center of attention does not mean you need to do a standard, boring ceremony.   Here are two hints that will help create a personal ceremony that represents the couple without making them more uncomfortable.

  • Include a bit of the couple’s relationship story in the ceremony which the Officiant reads. This story portion can be created by asking the couple how they met, how they describe the other, what they see for the future, etc. and then using some of their answers in the ceremony.  As mentioned in previous posts, don’t share anything embarrassing and of course, if the couple has told you that they are bit more reserved, be even more careful about what you share.   Having said that, it is still OK to share some lovey and some lighthearted moments…and because the Officiant is telling the story, it gives the guests a deeper picture of the relationship while not requiring the couple to read long vows to each other.
  • And speaking of vows, use questions in the ceremony instead of written vows that the couple would read to each other. Questions are where the Officiant asks vows questions to the bride or groom individually, or as a couple, and the responses can be “I Do”, “I Will”, or even “I’ll Try”.  Making it personal, even when using questions, can be done by providing the couple with many ideas/examples of possible questions and asking them to pick and/or write their own.  By doing it this way, the vows questions being asked fit the couple, and are thus are more personal, yet the couple only has to say a couple words.

More details on this, and other ways to work with all types of personalities, are covered in the Asked to Officiate wedding ceremony creation workbook.   A personal ceremony that fits the couple will make the wedding day so much more special for both the couple and their guests.

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