Our previous blog post, Options for Wedding Ceremony Vows – Part 1, discussed how the vows portion of the wedding ceremony should, and usually is, the most personal and beautiful part of the ceremony. Which is why we recommend that the couple write their own vows, no matter who is writing the rest of the wedding ceremony. In that same blog post, we discussed in general terms, three format options for doing vows. The first one was repeat after me vows which we don’t recommend and thus won’t spend any more time on. The other two; question vows and reading vows are the ones that we suggest so we wanted to in this, and the next blog post, give more details about each; provide some examples; and offer other vows options and suggestions.
Questions for vows – This is a great option for those that are shy or nervous about reading in front of a group or afraid they’ll be too emotional to read vows to each other, or for those that always envisioned saying I Do at their wedding. When using just questions for vows, we find that twelve questions, six questions asked of each, allows for a good mix of mushy/serious questions and light-hearted/funny questions while not being so many that the vows end up seeming forced or too long . Having said that, we have had some couples use less than twelve and some couples use more.
Each individual usually writes their own questions (what they want to promise to the other), however, we have had a few couples who wrote the questions for the other to agree to…a bit risky but always fun and interesting. Either way by the couple writing their own, the questions can reflect the personal emotions they feel for each other and also fit their particular relationship. Below is an example of questions one of our couples wrote and used.
Will you take Ashley to be your wife, your life partner, your best friend, your partner in crime; will you love, honor, and cherish her so long as you both shall live?
Do you vow to be patient with her when she gets stressed out and to remind her to slow down and enjoy each day?
Do you promise to only buy organic fruits and vegetables and only use non-dairy ingredients in your recipes?
Do you promise to stay by Ashley’s side in sickness and in health, in time of prosperity and decline, and in good times and in bad times?
Do you vow to encourage and inspire Ashley, listen to her and be conscious of her needs, to continue to travel and share life’s adventures with her, and strive for harmony in your marriage?
Will you take Tim to be your husband, your life partner, your best friend, your partner in crime; will you love, honor, and cherish him for as long as you both shall live?
Do you promise to cheer for the Dayton Flyers, the Cleveland Browns, and all of the other Cleveland sports teams despite their historic futility?
Do you promise to listen to Tim’s gory ICU stories and not faint?
Do you promise to scratch Tim’s back before falling asleep and not go to bed mad?
Do you promise to stay by Tim’s side in sickness and in health, in times of prosperity and decline, and in good times and bad?
Do you vow to encourage and inspire Tim, listen to him and be conscious of his needs, to continue to travel and share life’s adventures with him, and strive for harmony in your marriage?
As you can see, these vows questions are a good mixture of personal, light-hearted, traditional and lovey. This couple did have some questions that were the same for both but other couples have written all twelve to be different. There really are no specific rules or requirements, which allows the couple to write vows that really fit them. Obviously, the vows shouldn’t be something so embarrassing that grandma is going to blush or all inside jokes that nobody would understand, but they can, and should, be personal to the couple. Of course, if the couple wants to read their own vows and still say I Do, you can do both. Check out our next blog post, Vows Part 3, where we will talk about writing your own vows and other interesting ideas.
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