20 Aug 2015
August 20, 2015

Options for Wedding Ceremony Vows – Part 1

Although we recommend, and include in our workbook, plenty of ideas on making the entire wedding ceremony personal and written to fit the couple, it is our belief that the vows can and should be the most meaningful and personal part of any wedding ceremony.   Even if the friend or family member performing the wedding ceremony writes the entire ceremony, he/she should still have the couple write their own vows, since vows are the how you feel about the other person and the what you want to promise them… very tough for anyone other than the couple to write.

When talking about the vows portion of the wedding ceremony, we usually discuss 3 main ways that vows can be done:

The first option is “repeat after me” in which the officiant reads a phrase/line and, depending whose turn it is, the bride or groom repeat the phrase/line.   Although this is an option, we don’t recommend it since doing vows as repeat after me ends up with a lot less emotion than the other two options.  In most cases, the couple is focused on repeating the words correctly and not on the words themselves.

The second option is what we refer to as questions.  This is a great option for those that are shy or nervous about reading in front of a group or afraid they’ll be too emotional to read their own, or for those that always envisioned saying I Do at their wedding.  In this option, the officiant asks a question, usually to just one of them at a time, and they answer with, I Do or, I Will, I’ll Try, etc.

The third option is for the couple to write their own vows and read them to each other.   This is the most personal of the options and this is the one that has the most emotion.   If this option is chosen, we recommend that the couple write their vows separately and that they don’t share them with each other before the wedding day.

As with everything else in the wedding ceremony, it is okay to do something a little different if it makes the ceremony more personal or meaningful to the couple.  We have had plenty of couples who read vows to each other but also have one or two vows questions asked by the officiant… a way to have the emotion of reading their vows while still being able to say “I Do” at some point.   We have also had couples do their vows as a conversation in which they read lines to each other, as if they were having a personal conversation.   So many choices… stay tuned for our next blog post in which we will delve a little deeper into options two and three, look at the other unique ideas for vows, and provide a few samples.

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