30 Apr 2015
April 30, 2015

Asking a Friend or Family Member to Officiate?

Most people probably find this blog after having asked a friend or family member to perform the wedding ceremony, however, we feel it is important to provide some advice to think about before the ask.  Of course, we first recommend that you look into a professional officiant.

However, if you have decided not to use a professional officiant, here is some advice when going through the process of asking a friend or family member to perform your wedding ceremony:

1)      Don’t just ask a friend or family member because they speak in front of people all the time or because they are “funny”.   You want someone who is articulate, who is not afraid to speak in front of an audience, and who understands the honor of being asked to deliver your ceremony.  This isn’t a toast or a roast (they can do that in the reception for you) – this is your ceremony.

2)      Do ask a friend or family member who is going to create and deliver a wedding ceremony that fits you.  I understand that there may be family pressure to ask Uncle Bob, but if Uncle Bob is a Baptist preacher and you are non-religious, that is not really a good fit and most likely the ceremony will not be meaningful or personal to you.

3)      Do give the family member or friend time to think about their answer, and don’t take it personally if they say no.  It is a big honor, but preparing and/or delivering a wedding ceremony requires work and delivering it well requires being comfortable in front of an audience.  Not everyone is cut-out to do this, and many more people than you would think get cold feet along the way (as officiants, we get those last minute panicked calls from couples).

4)      Do seek guidance and assistance, especially if this is the friend or family member’s first or even second time delivering a wedding ceremony.  Obviously, we would love if you used Asked to Officiate products (which we guarantee will lead to a better ceremony).  However, even if you don’t, we recommend to start preparations early (we usually start our process four months out), spend ample time searching on how to create and deliver the ceremony, and talk to an officiant who has done this at least a few times before.

By using the advice above, you can make sure that you ask the right person and end up with a wedding ceremony that fits you and is delivered well.

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